5 Rejected Ad Pitches You Won’t Believe Almost Made It to Air

In advertising, sometimes you remember the ads you didn’t sell more fondly than the ones you do. Now, these spots ARE NOT MINE, but I do think they provide an interesting insight into what gets left on the cutting room floor.

Here are a few ad scripts I found that never made it to production.

1. GEICO TERRORISTS :30.

This was a fun little spot to show how not saving 15% or more on car insurance can have deadly consequences.

OPEN ON STATIC, FOLLOWED BY STATION ID CARD.

CUT TO BLACK

CUT TO INT. SUBURBAN LIVING ROOM

Through grainy camcorder footage, we see a family of four being held hostage by terrorists. The family has bags over their heads and their arms are tied behind their backs.

One of the terrorists brings a knife to the throat of the father. He screams, as do his children and wife.

Terrorist: In 15 minutes, these infidels could have saved 15% or more on car insurance with GEICO. But instead, they have chosen death. Let this be a lesson to America!

Husband: Wait! We have GEICO. We love saving money and having premium coverage.

The terrorist puts the knife down.

Terrorist: Oh, you do? Well, that’s great. Gee, things really got out of hand here for a second didn’t they?

Husband: Hey, it’s no problem. Mistakes happen, right?

Kid: Yeah, live and learn.

The family and the terrorists laugh together

CUT TO GEICO CARD.

*This piece came really close to production, but unfortunately the idea was axed after one of the higher-ups at GEICO were concerned about being associated with terrorism.

2. OJ Simpson CryptoDotcom :30

Despite many lawsuits and the bursting of the crypto bubble, Crypto .com was still eager to get their message out to the world. For this spot, I was tasked with writing a celebrity spot with OJ Simpson.

OPEN ON A GOLF COURSE

OJ SIMPSON is about to tee off. He looks at the camera.

OJ SIMPSON: Hello America. You know, a lot has changed since my time in prison. My friend Robert’s daughters are all grown up now and are known all over the world. Social Media has allowed people to communicate instantly. And instead of cash, people are now using this thing called “Crypto”.

OJ SIMPSON: Well, I might not know much about all of that. But one thing I know hasn’t changed is that fortune favors the bold. And I should know, it was my boldness that helped me escape defenses in the NFL and lead the league in rushing four times.

OJ SIMPSON: So if you’re feeling bold, go to Crypto .com and discover the future of crypto currency.

CUT TO CRYPTO .COM CARD

*This ad was about to move forward to production when sadly, OJ Simpson died.

3.  SkyRizzy Gen Z :30

More and more often, children and young people are experiencing skin rashes and intestinal diseases. Skyrizzy is a popular anti-inflammatory medication with young adults, but with a name like Skyrizzy, they thought their commercials could skew even younger.

OPEN ON SKATEPARK

We see three kids practicing skate tricks.

Kid 1 does an ollie.

Kid 3: Rizz!

Kid 2 does a kick flip

Kid 1: Ultra Rizz!

Suddenly, a flying dog comes from out of the sky. His name is SkyRizzy The Talking Dog.

SkyRizzy: Sup kids, cool tricks! I’m skyrizzy, the talking dog. And I’m here to talk about Skyrizzy.

Kid 1: Did he just say rizz?

Kid 2: Cool!

Skyrizzy: Not just rizz. Skyrizzy. Do any of you kids have IBS, skin diseases, or intestinal bleeding?

All of the kids nod their head.

Skyrizzy: Well then talk to your doctor about Skyrizzy. It’s the best way to make sure your intestines and digestive track keep producing enough rizz for you to process food properly.

Kid 3: Awesome!

Skyrizzy: Well kids, I gotta go to the hip-hop factory now. Stay rizzy!

The kids wave goodbye to SkyRizzy as he flies away.

CUT TO SKYRIZZY CARD

*This pitch was rejected as not enough time was allotted to talking about the side-effects of SkyRizzy.

4. Depends + Draft Kings Promo.

Anybody who has gambled on sports has had that shit-your-pants moment, where the bet you thought was going to hit instead falls flat, and now you can’t afford rent. For some of us (especially those not on Skyrizzy) this shit-your-pants moment can be a bit more literal. So some agency thought to itself, why not create a brand partnership between the largest seller of adult diapers with the largest online sports gambler, Depends adult Diapers and Draft Kings

OPEN ON LIVING ROOM

Friends are gathered around the TV, watching the big game.

We see Bob sitting in his recliner chair. He has his phone out.

All of the friends react as a huge play happens in the game, but Bob is silent.

We see his phone. He just lost 15 thousand dollars.

Bob’s face goes pale, we hear a sudden gurgling. A look of relief and then embarrassment  on Bob’s face.

We look at his phone, the money has been returned to his account.

VO: Now when you buy Depends Adult Diapers, receive a free no sweat-bet from Draft Kings.

Friend: Bob, you good?

Bob: Yeah, but I gotta go change my depends diaper.

CUT TO DEPENDS CARD WITH DRAFT KINGS INSERT.

*Draft Kings and Depends cancelled the partnership after a falling out over finances.

5. Blackstone Inc. :30

One of the largest private equity companies in the world is reshaping the landscape of America, with over $1 Trillion in equity. To promote their ever-growing venture, they created a spot to showcase why small business owners should give up and cash-out now.

OPEN ON A SMALL TOWN DINER.

The owner is closing down and wrapping up

VO: It used to be that small businesses, and their owners, were the backbone of this country.

We see the diner owner drives through town on his motorcycle. He drives past the barber, who is closing up his shop as well.

VO: The folks who owned their own brick and mortar and weren’t part of some big corporation.

The barber has now joined the diner owner on the road, next to him are an electrician and a plumber, and a doctor, all on their own motorcycles.

VO: Local professionals you could trust and rely on.

As they pull out of town, we see a sign that says:

WELCOME TO SPRINGFIELD, POPULATION: 10,000.

A maintenance worker slaps a poster over the sign that says:

SOLD TO BLACKSTONE FINANCIAL

VO: Welp, those days are all over.

CUT TO BLACKSTONE INC. CARD

VO: Blackstone, we’ll buy your dreams.

*This piece really excited the executives at Blackstone, but it was eventually cut once it was discovered that everyone had already sold their property to them.

I hope this has provided some insight into reasons why companies might throw away perfectly good spots. I know I learned a lot!